Tag Archives: dating

All You Need

Our movies and literature characterize love as being one of life’s greatest achievements.

But although millions have tried, true love is notoriously hard to define.

“I think that love can not have a real good definition because it means so many different things to so many different people,” psychologist and author Dr. Andrew Yellen said.

“I think it’s just a feeling between two people that is indescribable,” said Yellen. “When you’re in love, you know it.”

Experts say it’s important to have realistic expectations about a healthy and happy relationship, and marriage.

“Emotions change, they intensify, they weaken, and they come and go,” Bishop Cecil Richardson said, of the Lighthouse Light of the World Christian Ministries. “I think in order to truly come into a love relationship, we have other things and other components in play.”

Richardson says learning to love oneself, and knowing what one wants in a long-term partner, will help find someone compatible.

“A lot of [the] time, singles confuse sex with love,” radio personality and author Erin Tillman said. Tillman writes a blog as ‘The Dating Advice Girl’.

“There’s intense feelings that happen [when people have] any sort of intimacy,” she said. “I do encourage people to try not to get too intimate too early on because those feeling can be interpreted as love.”

Understanding the difference between lust and love can influence the decisions individuals make, Tillman said. There’s a big difference between infatuation and falling in love, and it’s important to recognize that.

“Often times your emotions over-rule your reasoning and you make poor choices,” Richardson said. “[When] you’re following emotion, you’re not following your reasoning.”

“Sometimes we’re so on a path [with] the end goal of marriage, or a ring, [that] we over look the person,” Tillman said.

According to a 2015 Pew Research study, nearly nine-in-ten Americans are online and almost half know someone who uses online dating, or who has met a spouse or partner via online dating.

“There’s not one right way, or wrong way to meet somebody,” Tillman said. “Online dating and dating apps are not going away, so it’s a very realistic thing that should not be ignored because people of all ages are using them.”

Social networking sites are now playing a integral role when it comes to relationships in a digital era. Attitudes towards online dating have become more positive and widely accepted. More and more people are choosing to be matched up based on what makes them compatible with other people.

“Our app, called the ‘Love Shopping List,’ does exactly that,” Yellen said. “One of the things I emphasize with couples and singles is that [you] need to understand what you’re looking for.”

But experts agree that although meeting someone compatible can be difficult, it’s the challenges faced after a relationship begins that tests its strength the most.

“When you have individuals as a couple who can grow together, you have a energy that continues to grow, and both [will] benefit from it,” Yellen said.

“Love is work, and if you’re not willing to work, you’re not going to have love,” Richardson said. “People [say] they want love, but they’re not willing to put in the work.”

“Whether it’s transgender, or LGBT, or whatever it [might be], it’s a relationship,” Yellen said. “And the thing we do most as human beings is have relationships.”

Moderator: Sarina Sandoval

Anchor: Daisy Lightfoot

Producer: Sarina Sandoval

Reporters: Jon Gripe, Ashley Horton, Andrew Pitters and Sarina Sandoval

Social Media Editor: Ashley Horton

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Digital Foreplay: The Truth About Online Dating

Online dating is changing the way people create and develop relationships.

Many people, whether they are young or old, are using online dating sites to build relationships. A Pew Research study says more than three quarters of Americans have tried online dating. Apps like Tinder, and Plenty of Fish, and online sites like EHarmony have made online dating easier, and less of a taboo subject.

“It used to be where online dating was just for people that were a little socially challenged, and it was easier to be able to communicate behind a keyboard,” cyber dating expert Julie Spira said. “Because of Facebook being so multi-generational, you’re seeing grandparents, that are going on dating sites when they lose their spouse or to divorce, and you’re also seeing college students that are flocking to the mobile dating apps.”

These online sites offer an easy way for users to create online profiles, and add photos and plenty of other types of information that one normally wouldn’t get from an encounter in person. The dating sites are a way for people who are hesitant, to gain some info about a potential relationship beforehand.

“You know in the real world we have to interact, we have to engage,” Marriage and Family therapist Allison Cohen said. “But you can go online and you find out stats, hobbies, important information instantly.”

CSUN Psychology professor Luciana Lagana says these online profiles can be both revealing and deceptive.

“It’s different because you don’t really have to reveal much about yourself,” Lagana said. ” You don’t have to give off any vibes that let anybody know you’re nervous. You can pretend you’re very cool, so deception is involved.”

“The guys that aren’t tall will actually add two to three inches to their height,” Spira said. “Women tend to lie about their weight, and men tend to lie about other things, for example, financial means, and having a job.”

People want relationships that are both successful and fun, without too much risk. With the new online dating sites, and the ability to check out mobile apps, the resources available are making the process easier and increasing people’s chances of success.

“You need to have a profile on more than one dating site, and be diligent about it, just like you would if you were looking for a job,” Spira said. “Understand it’s a numbers game, and get back out there and go on more dates, because the more dates you go on, the better dater you become.”

 

Moderator: Aleksandar Milojkovich

Anchor and Reporter: Evanne Robinson

Digital Content Editors: Esmi Careaga, Dylan Connolly and Natalie Palacios

Producer: Jennifer Rufer

 

 

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